A man walks into a bar …

… and finds a colleague he hasn’t seen out for a while. The colleague invites him to a night of drinks but his wife is expecting him home soon for dinner.

“Don’t fret. Just call her and say you’re in a long brainstorming meeting and will be home an hour late.”
He does just that.

Two hours pass and many beers are consumed.

“Don’t fret. Just call her and say it’s an intense meeting that’s a little over schedule but you’ll be off shortly.”
He does just that.

Three hours pass and many beers are spilled.

“I stink like beer. My wife will know that I’ve been lying.”

“Don’t fret. I’ll put a 20 in your pocket. When she smells the beer on you, tell her you bumped into a drunk on the way back from our intensive meeting but he gave you some money for the cleaning.”
He does just that.

Hours later …

“You stink like beer.”

“Yes, it’s from a drunk I bumped into on my way back from that intensive meeting. He was kind enough to give me a 20 for the cleaning.”

She reaches into his pocket and pulls out two 20 bills.

“I thought you said he gave you a 20 but I see you have 40.”

“Well. The same drunk that spilled beer on me also shit in my pants.”

I have no idea where this joke originated; is probably from Drew Carey. I love it because it’s funny and shows fact superseding fiction which is rarely funny.