Zend Queue with MySql …

… because life isn’t already hard enough.

If you are a masochist (or your boss is a sadist(*); or your project made you one; or you have the ambition to be so) and need to set up job queues through Zend Framework with a MySQL database. Here’s how it’s done.

Precursor: finding any practical information/tutelage about Zend_Queue is nearly impossible. The documentation is complete shite – sorry; it just is.  After fiddling around with it, I finally have a working model. Thought it worthy of ye good ‘ol fashion blog post.

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Split personality

My day job — these days — is hacking Java. Well, that’s an understatement. I’ve been writing what is best described as some form of multi-platform, embedded system for a MysteryProjectThatImSwornToSilenceOver with some really cool people WhoImNotAllowedToMention. It’s an audio-visual experience involving joysticks and touch-screens; it keeps my left brain in tune. My night job is, well, multi-lobal funk.

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Introducing envelopa.com

For the past year, Matej and I have been working hard on a new startup. We have revolutionized printing as you know it. Just kidding. We did this in two weeks. Just kidding. Matej did it in one week; I’m just stealing a breath of bragging right.

Envelopa.com is a super-simple utility for printing addresses on an envelope. It’s old school — we know — but it was one of those problems that we couldn’t find a simple and free solution for. It was also something that fit into our “if it can’t be done in a week, we won’t do it” mantra.
(Note: our next one’s a real whopper so that mantra dies now.)

Envelopa is pretty basic in its current form. You sign up, paste contacts from a spreadsheet or create new ones manually, and generate formatted PDFs for each of those contacts. You can then take those PDF files and (using only an Inkjet printer as odd as that might sound) print them directly onto your envelope. We’re, rather Matej’s, busy with adding support for importing contacts via Google and a CSV file-upload utility.

It might just save you a few minutes of time; we find that pretty darned useful. Check it out.

Gitolite with friends on server and such

I’m mainly a lone-wolf developer but sometimes (and more and more so) I need to work with other people outside of my dungeon. I have one el-cheapo box acting as the ssh, web, git, and backup server. I think this is a fairly typical setup. I wanted to take an existing project, add it to git, and share it with other dudes while still being able to code directly (when necessary) on the server itself. The solution turned out not to be so obvious. Well, not to me at least.

Here’s how I set up git on that box; thanks to Ubuntu, Gitolite and specifically Silas Sewell’s quick guide.
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Up yours Telligent.

Here’s a screenshot (format matters) of an email I received this week from Telligent.  There’s no pretext, just a boot and a bunch of self-promotion.

I wasn’t a user so I’m not so offended, I just find this message a tad brutal. If I need a social network for my enterprise-of-one, I’d probably use theflowr.

Up yours Telligent.

Warm regards,

Dennis

The smartest thing I’ve done all day

Started this command this afternoon on a recently restored system:

find / -name .svn -print0 | xargs -0 rm -rf

Still waiting for it to complete before I beerelebrate.

I hate subversion.

Note: is prolly an inappropriate command for a system-wide death. Don’t care.

Magento’s ungood.

Back in the early 00′s, I had the responsibility of cleaning up a project that was way off track. At the time, I was working for EYC out of Brussels; our client was a specialty steel company who’s problem was simple: for each new order, find existing scrap from previous orders that could be used to fulfill the new order. It was a simple problem; the solution (in print) filled about 4 large binders. They (the code monkeys) had built a rocket to Mars.

My last remaining (ever!) PHP project is for the implementation of a Magento shop. The owners are friends of mine so it was with great pleasure that I offered my services. Now, a few weeks into it, I can’t help but draw comparisons with that recycled-steel/rocket-to-mars project.

Magento is overly complex. So much so that typically trivial things such as moving hosts, changing basic configuration, importing and exporting data, theming and extending, etc require heavy doses of sedatives and near-Papal patience.  Here’s just a few specific examples:

1. Themes. Themes and styles are in completely different locations making customisation a real pain in the ass. There’s no easy way around this; structure is in app/design/frontend/design/default/YOURTHEME with styles hunkered down in skin/frontend/default/YOURTHEME.  Even using Nautilus’ tabs, this is a nightmare.
2. Extensions. Want to include custom XML layout in your CMS WYSIWYG editor? Magento’s got that mastered.
3. Configuration. This one rocks! Configuration is completely obscured (app/etc/config.xml and app/etc/local.xml) and is mystically merged together with other configuration settings from dis-joined locations; yes, including configuration from the DB. If you’re not a fan of simple configuration, Magento’s for you!
4. MagentoConnect. Fans of WordPress’ cool remote installation feature might like this for about 10 seconds. It’s a built in extension-manager that sorta works. I’m not entirely sure who the audience is for this feature but if it’s for the site’s non-technical staff, prepare your diapers and stiff drinks for support calls.
5. A class called Object. Oh my!

I could go on an on about how ungood Magento is. In their defense, I can tell they had two primary motivations (aka: they’re not stupid folks) for this architecture:

1. Build a consultancy out of an open-source solution.
2. Maximize flexibility.

Finally, I’d be completely idiotic to not mention that once everything is in place and you’re bald from the learning curve, things work. For an open source solution, that’s already something ain’t it?

Vote Moj tehnik and maybe I’ll sing you a song

A few weeks back, Anej and I set out to develop a no-nonsense Android application for submission to the Mobitel Android competition. The basic premise was to create an application that provided the full range of services offered by mobitel: a blog reader, an application installer, support information (mobitel centers, etc) and a subscriber’s quota information including support for ordering new quotas.  Jan Ferme has a great write-up of the application complete with screenshots.

A bit about the competition …

There were 54 applications submitted. Some of them are really quite impressive and were obviously created with as much commitment and enthusiasm as we put into Moj tehnik. I’m in awe at the amount of skill and creativity that has, well, oozed from the woodwork. Not that I should be surprised, Slovenia is a technologist’s dreamland.

So, how can you help?

At the bottom of Moj tehnik’s submission page there is the omnipresent “Like” button. Just click it. The more votes, the happier we will be. They kindly don’t have any geographic restrictions; anybody, anywhere is accepted.

One more thing. There’s an easter egg in Moj tehnik. The first person who reports it will have a video of me singing about them in the shower submitted to Facebook. (No nudity of course.)

Fin

Resizing images in an Android WebView

In one of my current projects I have to show HTML “the app” pulls from an RSS feed. Unfortunately, the editors of that site felt it necessary to hard wire height and width attributes into each image; a little hack was necessary to override the widths … “no horizontal scrolling” is pretty much the rule, right? So, thanks to an old tip from lexandera, I was off.

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ota10

There is a lengthy discussion about possible improvements to the overtheair event and, well, to hack-a-thons in general over at Cristiano Betta’s blog. The conversation — which is a better read than this will be — sent my head spinning and somehow it landed in Microserf territory. This post is a month late. Awesome!

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